For the past two weeks, nearly every conversation I’ve had starts with:

How are you doing?

Well, of course we’re all doing terrible, generally speaking. There is a looming fascist dictatorship. It’s a variant of the doom feeling before throwing up is certain:

It’s coming. Nothing can be done.

Some days the check-in is cathartic. Other days, it’s draining. And throughout these conversations, even conversations occurring on the same days, my answers change.

Because sometimes I get really sad. I’m human.

But mostly I’m okay. Fighting authoritarianism is something I’ve thought seriously about for several years at this point. And I’ve been studying and working to address an important segment of this issue—the anti-abortion movement is an anti-democracy movement, full stop—for years.

So, I feel equipped to fight in my own corner, and I have resources to do so. And, I’m not afraid to keep fighting if and as crackdowns on activists get more intense than anything previously seen. And I do believe that’s going to happen. While I’m not seeking to martyr, and I hope this is not necessary, I’m willing to make sacrifices in service of my commitment to living in a democracy where there is rule of law, freedom of expression, and equality for all.

Because I’m a motherfucking American, dammit.

I’m not jejune about our collective predicament. What’s ahead will be much uglier than the first time around with Mr. Dictator. He’s going to go for it. Some people are going to be rounded up and put in jail. Others are going to die. He will simultaneously seek to dismantle the government and replace it with a retribution chamber in the mirror of his own whims. This is what authoritarian governments do. And that is what our looming collective future is.

I’m not really joking when my husband calls out to ask what the hell I’m listening to, and I answer, Pussy Riot, while I can still listen to it without going to jail.

But also, I want to share the most wonderful thing from the past two weeks. I have drastically changed my relationship to social media, as well as news consumption.

Acknowledging the concerning matter of Mr. Musk and setting it aside from its own explication, all social media has created an echo chamber that has promoted the rise of authoritarianism, and the division of neighbor from neighbor. It has also created feeds that are, frankly, a drag. I’m mourning with people all day long, and I don’t want to do it on the Internet as well.

Moreover, dictatorships depend on overwhelming you. The news cycle is purposefully made awful to overwhelm you. I don’t want to consume news through social media anymore. There is no value in having my news curated by for-profit monsters in bed with the regime. It distorts my views and makes it more difficult to understand what is going on.

I’m also stepping back from a robust engagement I had with news alerts. I am and will always be what my mom calls a “news junkie,” but I’m relying more on actual newspapers and occasional check-ins on television. I don’t need to doom scroll anymore.

Protecting my strategic headspace from the steady drip-drip of outrage gives me the space I need to fortify myself for what’s ahead. It keeps me from inadvertently colluding with the algorithms built for our domination. And, it’s giving me more space for reading books and writing for myself.

So, if you want to find me on the internet, erintothemax.com is more likely to be the spot than social media. If you want to, go ahead and subscribe to get emails each time I post, and we can do this together.