Every Time You Ask If I’m Pregnant, I Post A Selfie On Instagram

I get asked if I’m pregnant on the regular. At first this shit made me cry. But it’s happened so much that I’ve had to get used to it.

Sometimes I still cry.

My stomach sticks out. It has stuck out for years. I am not pregnant. I gave birth to a creative, healthy, playful girl five years ago. Today I have a tight stitch where a C-section once happened, and there’s a pouf above it that reflects my love of wine, cheese, and life.

Your reassurances that I am not fat do not help.

I have noticed that friends feel compelled to insist I’m not fat. Just because you say that I don’t look pregnant does not mean I don’t get asked this question, on average, a few times a month. Just because you say I’m so skinny doesn’t mean I won’t get asked about the baby I’m not expecting sometime real soon.

I have created a new rule:

Every time I’m asked about my pregnancy, I post a selfie to Instagram.

I love it.

It puts me back in the driver’s seat of my life.

No matter what I’m wearing, how I’m made up, or what I’m doing, I take a picture of myself and share it with people who know me, mostly in real life. I admit forthrightly what just happened. And then I move on.

When I do this, I no longer remain the person whose body is being reviewed and assessed by others. I become the person who has this body right now, and is living her life anyway.

If you get asked if you’re pregnant a lot, my recommendation is to find something to do immediately that feels good to you. Then keep doing it. Having something to draw upon that does not require thought can be helpful when hurt slaps you in the face, as it did in the comfort of my own home (indeed, no place is sacred) twelve days ago.

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3 thoughts on “Every Time You Ask If I’m Pregnant, I Post A Selfie On Instagram

  1. Barbara Miller

    I will NEVER forget the time I was teaching a class at a junior college and, in the middle of the class, a student asked when I was due to give birth. I was NOT pregnant. What an embarrassment for everyone! I think that people should just keep their opinions or questions about the possible pregnancy of another person to themselves! Based on my experience, I’ve resolved to never ask anyone. I figure that if a woman wants to talk to me about her pregnancy, that’s her business. I’ll always be a receptive audience, but it’s her choice to raise the topic.

    1. I love your approach, and I agree: People need to learn when to keep their assumptions to themselves. Not to mention learning what they don’t need to know about other people’s lives. And we need to learn not to give them space in our brains and emotions.

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