Let me tell you about the lovely Minnesota winters. The deep, unsoothable itch of your skin. The knuckles and fingertips that crack open and bleed, staining your sheets. But the surface-level issues are nothing. I want to praise the way the inside of your nostrils hurt the moment you hit air. I want to offer my respects to the blinding nature of sun on snow. I want to feel the pride of having looked down on people from Chicago who bitch about winter as it comes to Illinois, because honestly?

They have no fucking idea.

“Ice Box of the Nation” is International Falls, Minnesota. The coldest temperatures in the nation are Minnesota. Period.

The people shooting people, teargassing clergy, intimidating Minnesota’s schoolchildren, arresting people regardless of citizenship status, demonizing the Somali community, driving immigrants and people of color into hiding, and terrorizing the whole damn state?

They have NO IDEA what is coming.

You can pop out of Texas. Florida. Oklahoma. Wherever they recruited you (jail? nothing would surprise) without caring that maybe you’re waving more red flags than a hurricane.

You think you’re tough. You can think you can wave your gun around to keep you warm. You know, you’ve got a little face cloth you wear because suddenly you’re into that. But these things won’t work.

There’s actually a severe weather advisory on its way. Because this is Minnesota, fools.

Starting tomorrow night, we’re talking about windchills as low as 34 below zero. This isn’t a matter of bundling up or keeping coffee in the car. But these arrogant folks? I guarantee you they think it is.

Napoleon tried to charge into the Russian winter. Didn’t work. Hitler did, too. We know how Operation Barbarossa turned out. There are some types of man versus nature that no weaponry can overcome.

While I don’t live there now, I’m born and raised Minnesotan. Spent my twenties there. I have always remained emotionally and psychologically Minnesotan. I’m incredibly proud of my community in these dark days. I know they are resilient, however much they are hurting and scared.

I also know they actually know how to deal with winter. Unlike, ahem, their invaders.

So this?

Yeah, baby, yeah.