An Advent Calendar To Get Eating Disorder Culture Out Of Your Holidays

The holidays are here, and for those who struggle with eating disorders or negative self-image this time of year can get pretty real. Some of my worst memories of anorexia involve the holidays, and so my recovery present to you (and me!) is an advent calendar to tell eating disorder culture to back off. December …

Continue reading An Advent Calendar To Get Eating Disorder Culture Out Of Your Holidays

Treating Food And Exercise Like A Zero-Sum Game Is Peak Eating Disorder Culture

Here’s a horrible idea that promotes disordered eating: Researchers in the United Kingdom have suggested labels that list the amount of exercise required to burn the amount of calories in a food. As someone who nearly died of anorexia, I know that displaying this information in this manner — on literally all packaged foods — …

Continue reading Treating Food And Exercise Like A Zero-Sum Game Is Peak Eating Disorder Culture

I Would Never Be Able To Run Marathons If I Still Had An Eating Disorder

I did not set out to develop an eating disorder. I wanted to get in shape. I started running. I started eating ‘healthy’ snacks. I started dieting. I lost control. I almost died. I would never be able to run marathons today if I was still playing around with that bullshit. Through multiple humiliating rounds …

Continue reading I Would Never Be Able To Run Marathons If I Still Had An Eating Disorder

Why Do I Talk About An Eating Disorder I Don’t Have Anymore?

Somewhere, tonight, someone is hurting. I know because I have been her. I have been the girl who will not answer the telephone, who walks through rooms without speaking. I have met insomnia and the noises night can make. I understand going for late night drives and lights shining on grass, the crippling fear of …

Continue reading Why Do I Talk About An Eating Disorder I Don’t Have Anymore?

Body Hatred, Raising A Daughter, And Real Recovery From An Eating Disorder

Each Wednesday, my daughter and I put on our swimsuits and walk into the community pool until the water gets so deep I bend down and carry her. It is a long ramp into the deep end. Packed benches and risers span the perimeter and they are crowded with parents and siblings. It is quite …

Continue reading Body Hatred, Raising A Daughter, And Real Recovery From An Eating Disorder

When Someone Asks If You’re Pregnant … And You’re Not

Yesterday, I was checking out at the vet when the receptionist smiled. “I shouldn’t ask this,” she said, looking at what I thought was my wallet. “Is that a baby bump?” “No,” I said. Where is my dog? Bring back my dog. It’s time to get out of here.  The dog came back. I played it …

Continue reading When Someone Asks If You’re Pregnant … And You’re Not

Learning From Abusive Relationships About Donald Trump

I barricaded the bedroom door with a chair and a rattan chest full of sweaters. He continued slamming and yelling in the kitchen. I hunched over hyperventilating, shaking and waiting for his next move. Maybe he would come in. Maybe making the door hard to open made me less safe, not more. Surviving abuse is not …

Continue reading Learning From Abusive Relationships About Donald Trump